Flexibility

Having horses and children has taught me a very valuable thing. To be flexible and willing to make changes at a moments notice. The last couple of months have been busy, people have
been out of sorts, and Christmas is really never what I imagine it will be. Last month I listed
some goals that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. I don't think I have finished
one of them. Every year we go out as a family and cut a tree down at a tree farm about 2 weeks
before Christmas. This year David and I bought a little display tree at Target 2 days before Christmas. Marissa and I decorated it on Christmas Eve night. Most of the family has
been sick, some family members have been fighting. On Christmas Eve morning I woke up to
find Chance completely in the tack/grain room. How he fit I'll never know and how he didn't
get stuck is a total miracle! The room is barely big enough for 2 people to stand in, never mind
a horse! And the biggest miracle was that Chance didn't touch any grain at all despite the fact that there were 2 open bags in reach. I guess he thought it was way more entertaining to torture Phoebe (the chicken). He was eating her bed of hay as she was huddled in the corner unharmed. I'm not sure if I left it open or if he figured out how to open it. It is now latched with an extra clip.
So now it is the evening of Boxing Day. An English holiday that David's mother enjoys celebrating. We eat another huge meal and have a fun Yankee Swap. Everyone is stuffed and
sitting around chatting. I have snuck off to check my e-mail and write this. Another Christmas is over, New Years is next week. Time is flying by as usual.
I have to say it has been a wonderful year and even though things seem out of sorts and really kind of weird this Christmas I'm grateful for it all. I have wonderful friends, a great new career, my kids are growing up and getting along (doing very well in most aspects of their lives), my husband and I have been able to laugh most of the craziness off and made time for a snowmobile ride the other day, and all of the animals are healthy and happy.
Life is good and I think the only New Years resolution I will make for 2008 will be to continue
to remain flexible. Everything else will fall into place.

I need some fun

Sharing horse time

Something I have been struggling with for a while, trying to make time for my pony. I wonder if he is okay with just hanging out with his brother and being a retired pony or would he like to do more? His health is getting better, he has put on weight, looks bright eyed and happy for the 1st time in months. I have so many things to accomplish with Chance that Shadow does get left out. Chance is young and has a lot of energy. And Chance is the horse that I ride. Having Chance around has been so good for me. As much as I do worry about Shadow's health, having Chance has given be something else to focus on. Also, CC will go through the fence if I take Shadow out of his sight. That is probably the only thing that has made having the ponies together difficult. And I guess without really thinking it I have started to pull away from Shadow. He is 29 and not in great health. I didn't think he would be around when the weather got cold. I am not in anyway trying to rush the rest of his life, but I think I have been trying to prepare myself for his death. It is going to be hard, I love that pony so much, and saying goodbye to him is sometimes not even comprehensible.

I guess in trying to make more horse time I will fit in small amounts of time in for Shadow. Not enough to effect his health but hopefully enough to help his mind. And mine also, I miss playing with him.

Goals for the rest of this year

These are in no particular order. I wrote them as I thought of them.

Goal #1 - Get organized! Organize the office - plumbing/heating work and find a way to fit biscuit paperwork in here.

Goal #2 - Decorate for Christmas. I didn't do anything but the tree last year which was fine but I would like to do more this year.

Goal #3 - Clean basement garage for the car, clean and make room for biscuit packaging on the finished side.

Goal #4 - Make appts to visit the school with Derek.

Goal #5 - Make time to play with horses. Even though we are always training our horses whenever we handle them, if I call it play it won't seem like a project. Make sense? I love my
horse time and I love the projects with them but I am feeling overwhelmed with work. Chance also LOOKS younger and I get the feeling he wants to play. Something I think he hasn't had
in a long time. I will put it in the schedule starting next week. This week is for reorganizing inside.

Goal #6 - Make some fun time for me and David. We need to get away again, we went away overnight last week but it was kind of a flop and I want a do-over. We had a yucky room and waited for ever for the meal at dinner (the server forgot to bring us lots of stuff, food, drinks etc....) We kept our sense of humor, but I would like to do it again.

Goal #7 - Make my x-mas shopping list. And keep it simple this year. More homemade stuff, that is actually more work, but way more enjoyable. Enjoy Christmas this year!

Goal #8 - Get started!

Not a lot of horse time lately

Boca's Biscuits have taken over any horse time I have. I'm grateful for what I'm doing and that
this new business is giving me the extra money I need to take care of my horses. But I am whining because I want to play! Now that I have said that out loud I guess I need to do something about it. My mission this week is going to be to regroup and organize the business.

It is nice to watch Chance walk around out there with a peaceful look on his face. He looks happy and that makes me feel good. He has come a long way in a year. I can't remember the last time he had that shut down look on his face. Let see, he has had all his vax, been chiropractically adjusted, his teeth have been done and no more shoes and no more ouchyness. His feet look great. Oh, they have a new round bale feeder with unlimited hay. It's like a giant
candy bowl!

Dentist

The horsey dentist came on Saturday. All 3 horses where very good! I had no idea if Chance had ever had dental work done so she approached him like he had not. It didn't take long for
him to decide that he really liked this lady and because he can get mouthy when nervous, having things put in his mouth was a good thing. He was allowed to chew on the files and I think the filling must have felt good. He was more than happy to stand and let her do whatever she needed to. She was able to get a good look into his mouth, he is approx. 7 like I
thought and his wolf teeth are gone which means he did have some work done at sometime. It
has been a while though, he has horrible sores in his mouth. Hopefully they will be better soon.

Oh, the ponies were very good also. Poor CC thought he was getting a shot though. He ran around the paddock away from us looking horrified. The treats in her hand made him think twice about the running and as soon as he realized there would be no needles he was fine. Does anyone have any ideas about how to work on this problem? Giving him a shot is a horrible experience for everyone.

Boca's Biscuits

My new business Boca's Biscuits has taken off flying! I started this because my dog (Boca)
was having trouble digesting commercially made dog biscuits. I made some for my dog and
thought I might try selling some. I put a basket together and brought them to Goodwin's Mills General Store. My mom happens to be one of the owners so this was an easy place to start. In
just 2 days the basket of 40 biscuits was empty. This was just 1 month ago and now I am selling
them in 3 stores and doing business with 2 doggy daycares. I got a call today from another daycare who saw the biscuits and wants to buy some for the counter and is putting an order in
for Christmas. This is so cool! I needed a part-time job to help with my horse habit, this has
gone over and above what I ever thought it would be in such a short time. I am so grateful to be making money doing something fun and good for dogs! Oh, another local business has asked for
some dry mixes to sell for dogs and horses. I wonder if I'll have to hire help?

2nd Libby Clinic

I made a last minute decision to go to Libby's clinic this past weekend. It was the right decision.
I really didn't learn anything new, but things were reinforced and somethings that I didn't view as very important right now are. Things to work on now:

Have a job. It takes the emphases off of the horse and gives us both something to think about.
Pick away at things.
Work on what is presented at the moment.
Sing a song when the fear starts to creep up. It helps me breathe.
Breathe. (I have been working on this one for a while now)
Help him get away from scary things. Be part of the solution, not the problem.
Be sure to show him that he has a way out, if he knows its there he may not need it but will feel better.
Don't nag, don't be critical. Reward for every try.
Give him a neutral place to be in.
Trust him!!!

Before we came home 3 of us took our horses on a trail ride out back around the pasture along the tree line. It was a nice way to end the weekend. Chance enjoyed it too.

2nd Farrier Visit

The farrier came by to check on Chance's feet today. This visit went much better. He still
did some pulling, but by far had a better attitude towards K. K wanted to see if there had
been any change in Chance's feet since last week and touch up anything that needed it. This was
a much shorter visit and a good experience for all!

New Farrier

We had the 1st visit with the new farrier today. The appointment was long, but I really like the
work he does and the way he took his time with Chance. He spends a lot of time looking at each foot, trimming slowly to shape it the way it will help the horse in everyway. It is an art and he really enjoys his job. Chance tested him the entire time, he doesn't trust men and wasn't crazy about giving up his feet to this new guy. He is going to have to earn them. He didn't do anything to try to hurt him he just continued to pull his feet away over and over again for the entire trim which lasted about 2 hrs. When he pulls his feet away he does it without any warning, very quickly and puts his weight into it. There is no holding on. Kirk never once lost his patience and did everything he could think of to keep Chance comfortable. He gave him many breaks and tons of positive reinforcement everytime Chance gave some try. Along with the trust issues he also had quite a bit of ouchiness in those front feet. It was painful to hold one up for any amount of time. Kirk gave him a lot of credit for everything he was able to do and I give Kirk a lot of credit for the amound of patience he showed my horse. Punishing Chance is not an option, he reacts out of fear and self-preservation. When he does react you can see that he is just waiting for the human reaction, punishment. I am trying to teach him that humans can be kind, I can ignore the bad stuff and react to the good stuff with love and kindness.

Good stuff is happening

Went to Hollis to ride yesterday with Jaye and Pilot. It sure is nice that he likes to get
in the trailer. The rides to different places are fun, no stress at all, that's pretty cool.

We got to the park and unloaded the horses. After they had a leisurely walk around the ring we started to tack up. The carefree horse I loaded was now a little stressed probably wondering
'What Now?!' He had trouble holding up his feet for me, very unbalanced, walked away when
the saddle was going on, and very focused on Pi. I took the saddle and pads off and did some
halter work. This helped a little. Dressed him again but no bridle. More halter work with the
saddle on, lots of stress. He was very focused on Pi and actually reared when he couldn't see him. I hung on, he came down and now I could see confusion along with the stress in his eyes.
Rearing isn't cool, but its better than shut down. That's what horses do when they don't feel
good, I need to help him. I just continued to work with him until he settled enough to ride and looked less confused. This is just going to be something we have to work through until he realizes he is safe.

I bridled him and got on. For about 1/2 an hr he was pretty worried. We walked, some rough trotting, stopping, and practiced old things we both know very well. Then came the sigh. I think it was a breakthrough for him because the rest of the ride was so much better. He relaxed and for the 1st time ever he gave me the nicest trot. I felt his back soften and he finally seemed to enjoy himself. He never shut down, even through the nervous stuff he was with me. He is a pretty amazing horse, Good Stuff!

Thank you Jaye for your coaching, and calm words of encouragement yesterday!

Another Ride

I was heading over to A's to watch the new farrier work and decided to take Chance along. If
there was time his feet would be done too and if not I might ride him. Asking him to get
in the trailer was like asking the dog to jump in the car. He seemed to look forward to whatever
adventure we were going on and willingly walked in and started eating hay. He usually comes out once and then goes back in and waits. He looks at me and seems to question, "do you want me to stay in now?" I tell him yes, take off the lead rope and close the door. He eats his hay, whinnies goodbye to the ponies and off we go, he likes to stand backwards and look out.

We got to A's, there wasn't going to be time to do Chance's feet but that was even better. I wanted him to have the ride over, see old horse friends, eat hay and go home. Nothing was done to him, no work, just a fun day. It was good to see the new farrier's work, I like him a lot. After
a few hours we came home. As we pulled in the yard Chance whinnied hello to the ponies got
out and had supper.

It was a nice day and fun taking Chance along for just a ride.

Got a Saddle

We got a late start but off we went, just me and Chance. This was our 1st outing together. I can't say I wasn't a little nervous about hauling him alone, but I felt good about it. So off to Double G we went. We arrived in good shape both of us relaxed and feeling good about the ride....(whew!) He came out of the trailer quiet and calm, I tied him to the side while Ruth came
out with the wire thing she uses to get the shape of his withers and shoulders. Then came the saddles, she had 2 in the store that may fit. And as luck would have it she happened to have the
perfect saddle pad in the used room. A felt pad, black, with 6 pockets on it for shims. Both saddles did fit and now the deciding factor would be how the seat fit me.

That meant riding him in a place he had never been and me without my supporting friends!

Then something new happened to me. The fear never came. I thought about being afraid for a couple of seconds and then it was gone. I didn't have his bridle with me so I threw his rope halter on and hopped in the saddle. I immediately didn't like the 1st saddle. The seat wasn't deep enough, I felt like I could slip right off him. The 2nd saddle was perfect. Even the stirrups were the right length. I don't think I would have picked this one out for myself but I like it. It's kind of cow girlish and showy but its cute and it fits both of us. I asked him to walk on, then trot. He was distracted by some of the things around us, but there was no fear in him either. He was with me the whole time, we did some walking and some trotting, stopping and going. It was great.

So, I bought the saddle and a few other things, and we headed home. By this time I was starving and decided to get some lunch, we went through the Wendy's drive thru. This was my little treat and when we got home he had his treat in the clover patch. It was a perfect morning and a huge confidence builder for me! I think Chance had fun too.

Saddles

I am taking Chance to Double G to have him measured for a saddle. He has a very
hard back to fit, big shoulders, prominent withers, short slopping back. He will probably
have a sway back when he gets old. I tried another saddle on him yesterday, it was okay
on the right side but tight on the left. He has a white spot on the left side, must be an
old injury. It looks like the muscle may have been ripped and scar tissue has formed
which makes that side bigger. I'm hopeful that we can find a saddle that will make both
of us happy.

Quiet night

I have started spending a few minutes each night sitting in Chance's paddock in the
dark. Sometimes I close my eyes and just listen to the horses eat. It is so peaceful,
a nice way to end the day.

Surprise Trail Ride

Today I went to A's to take some pictures of her kittens and her new horse. After being there for a few minutes I was told that my horse was ready. A had tacked up her mare Val so I could
go on a trail ride with her. What a nice surprise! We also met up with Pam and her gelding Chocolate and off we went down to the brook. The weather was perfect, the horses were happy and so were we. Adrieanne had a nice 1st trail ride on her new 4 yr old, Cruz. After a little bit of a rough start, some rearing when she got on which probably happened because he has difficulty switching eyes, off we went. I would have been on the ground immediately but not A. She has an unbelievable seat and rode through it. He calmed down and was more than happy to go exploring with her. It was a perfect 1st trail ride for both of them!

Rode Chance Today

Well, the saddle I was borrowing for Chance isn't fitting him like it should so I returned it. Which means that the only way I can ride is bareback or not at all until I get another saddle.
So, I hopped on today in the paddock. We had fun. Every time I get on him it seems we have
another breakthrough. He tested me again, pinned ears and threatened to bite me, this time I
was ready and let him hit my boot. He still continues to do this, but no more pinned ears and it
is now more of a little kid behavior, not threatening anymore. So I'll do what I would do with my kids, ignore it and continue to let him hit my boot.
We went up and back down the rocky hill, around barrels, and just had a good time. This is really going to be good for my seat! And I can feel him under me much better than in the saddle. Also, for some reason the fear in me is going away. Today I was able to be a leader and
Chance was able to be with me. It was a nice.

Trail Ride with Jaye and her horses

We took Jaye's horse out for a nice trail ride the other day. I love riding Striker, she is teaching me a lot.
I can really feel her under me, her back, her feet and I love the way she sways her butt back and forth when she walks. It was fun for all of us!

It's been a busy week

Things have been pretty busy since my last post. I'm not sure where to start. I met some really neat people, Karina and Kirk - their website is http://www.themirroreffect.com/. Kirk is a farrier and Karina is a trainer. They are more than just those things, I don't think I can accurately describe everything they do. Looking up the website would be the best way to get an understanding of them. I can accurately say that Karina has worked with myself and 3 other close friends and has made some pretty remarkable changes in all of us. And has inspired others that just listened.
I now have a clearer understanding of where Chance has come from and why things have been
tough for him. I didn't realize or maybe didn't take into consideration the differences between Maine and the western part of the country. Not only is the terrain totally different, so are the smells, animals, tack, and his training. He might as well have been dropped off in a foreign country! Also the white spots on his body are really scars from tack that didn't fit and equipment used to manage him. From some of the behavior he shows he has most likely been roped and treated pretty badly.
The good thing is that I do have a better picture of his past life which will help me help him.

Nice Short Ride

Jaye came over to today to hang out with me while I rode Chance. This time I tacked him up. He wanted to play with the saddle pads, so I let him. He sniffed and rubbed his head all over them. He picked one up in his mouth and tossed it around a little. It it nice to see his personality coming out. He was fine with the pads on his back but is still not so sure about the saddle and bridle. Tomorrow I'll put the saddle on and let him eat clover. No riding.

He did accept the saddle and bridle after a while and I hopped on. He took me right over to the gate, out we went and just walked around. The ride lasted about 10-15 minutes long. He never really relaxed but he also never got stressed or shut down. I have made it a rule for now that there will be NO eating while riding. That makes things clear for both of us.

The ride was short and sweet. It was fun and it won't be long before we are both relaxing.

Our World is Expanding

I had another lesson on Chance yesterday and rode him bareback out of the ring again. This time he had NO trouble going through the gate knowing that there was grass and clover waiting for him on the other side. He did however have trouble leaving the grass and clover to take me to see other things. Not out of fear or anxiety, just plain old stubborness. He actually got cranky with me and for the 1st time since I have had him pinned his ears back and got pissy with me! I have never seen this horse get angry before, never once has he pinned his ears like that. Snack time was over and I was asking him to walk forward. He started walking backwards, almost into a snowmobile trailer, and when I wouldn't let him drop his head to eat he pinned his ears and hit my leg with his mouth! He didn't bite me, but he was warning me. This was new and I had to figure out how I was going to react to this!

Because I was bareback and not very confident in myself being able to stay on if I continued to ask him to walk forward I decided to stop asking. Also, he was showing me an emotion. Not shutting down like he would have a few months ago. I was grateful for that. But that behavior is not acceptable so I had to do something. Getting angry myself was also not an option and I wasn't going to let this turn into something even uglier. So, I got off and walked him out of the clover patch. Showing no emotions myself I decided to do something that we both already knew and I got back on in a place without clover. I needed to set him up for success and now I know that he isn't ready to be ridden and be allowed to eat. I actually think it is good that he is testing me. I just need to make sure I handle this correctly.

I rode him around the barn area showing him new things for about another 15 minutes, his emotions would build and I would bring him back to a safe place. I really struggled with letting him look around without shutting him down. I am having trouble reading him, is he just looking or is he too focused and going to exlode? It is going to take some time, I am still dealing with my own anxiety. So what will I do differently next time?

I will ride with a saddle - I don't feel confident enough in my riding to stay balanced if I need to help him out of a scary place.
I will picture a safe ride in my mind before I get on.
I will ride like a have a plan even if I don't. I will ride like we have a destination. I left too many decisions up to him, I didn't know what I wanted to do so he took over.
I won't be hard on myself! This IS fun and for both of our sakes I am going to keep it that way. I won't get caught up in the negative, and I won't get too serious.

He carried me through the gate!

I like the idea of riding without intentions. Chance does too. It's relaxing for both of us. I took him into the ring with no idea of what we where going to do, just no routine. So I did the ground work we do know (Yes, that is routine) but for safety I have to make sure he was feeling okay. I brought him to one of the barrels, climbed up and when he was ready I got on. Bareback with a rope halter. I let him take me where ever he wants, sometimes he stops, and sometimes I'll ask him to change direction. Every few minutes I check in with him and yes he is still with me. No pressure, deep breaths, scratching his neck and enjoying the moment. He even did a little trotting. :)

After a while I asked my mother-in-law to open the gate for us. The one down at the barn, not on the hill. This is the same gate I walk him in and out of EVERY day. But this time I was on his back. I asked Chance to walk in that direction. He did but wasn't feeling that great about it. So we turned around and stayed in for a few more minutes and then I asked again. We gradually got closer and then he found a little bit of hay. It was right in the middle of the open gate. It was nervous eating but after a minute or so it took his mind off of the scary thought of leaving the ring. I let him eat and relax again, more breathing, more scratching. When he was ready I asked and he carried me through v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. He stopped and looked around. I asked him to check in with me, and yes, he was still with me. We found some grass and clover, I let him stand and eat and enjoy the moment. I was enjoying it too! It was time to go back in, I asked him to go through and again he wasn't feeling good about it. I asked him to walk around avoiding the gate which helped. Eventually he was ready and we went back in. Then we went back in and out one more time. This time it was much better, he was a lot more relaxed so I got off, gave him a hug, a mint and some hay.

Less is More

I had a very nice lesson on Chance Friday. I was told to do "as little" as I possibly could with him and what I did was up to me. Awe Man! I really had to think, being told what to do is much easier. I was ready for a real work out but what I got was 150% better. He wanted to be with me, he was very hooked on and following me everywhere. I got on bareback with the rope halter and had fun with him. We didn't do very much but the feeling between us was worth a million dollars! So now I have to remember that I can't have any routine with this horse, I have to find it within myself to duplicate this feeling and do something different. Maybe this time I'll open the gate and see if he takes me out of the ring.

Rode at Piper Ridge

Jaye and Pilot picked us up today and we went to Piper Ridge to work on some of the stuff we
learned from Libby. The first thing I did was to work Chance in the round pen. He was a little distracted and despite the warm weather had no trouble kicking up his heals. It wasn't all extra energy, I don't think he was feeling all that good about what he thought might happen today. So after tacking him up I brought him back to the round pen to help him feel okay about the saddle. He did some crow hopping at first but settled pretty quickly. He was feeling better so I
felt okay about bringing him into the ring.

I did a little rope work with him and very soon felt okay about getting on. Although I have to admit I had butterflies. I had not had the opportunity to put what I learned into practice yet, I was going on faith that this would work and that I would be able to prevent a wreck instead of waiting for one to happen. The entire time we rode Chance was pretty focused on Pilot. I can lead him anywhere alone or with a horse, being on his back is totally different. He becomes very anxious and worries about everything. My hopes for this day where not only to prevent a wreck but to help Chance learn to trust me.

After a short time I started to feel more and more confident. He was looking at everything on the outside of the ring, I just continued to do what Libby taught me. I knew it was working because we were both starting to feel better.

We had a great moment when Jaye and Pilot left the ring. Chance was tense and I could feel the anxiety coming from him. I just kept him busy, lets go look at this barrel, lets go check on Pilot, lets do some S turns, lets go check on Pilot, we were able to get a little further away each time . The great moment was the last time we walked away, he dropped his head, sighed and I felt him with me. His mind was with me not Pilot. For the 1st time we were a team and I was able to help my horse feel okay.

Happy Anniversary Bud!

Chance has been with me for 1 year today.

Libby's Clinic

It is Tuesday and I am exhausted. I think I have picked up a little virus, not enough to put me down and out, but I have a sore throat and am very low energy. This is probably a blessing in disguise, Chance's feet are sore from the trim he had on Sat. morning and he needs a little break. He had chipped his right front and it needed some trimming before I took him to Piper Ridge. If I was feeling good I would be chomping on the bit to play with him.

I have thought about little else than the clinic. I chose to have a couple of private lessons with Libby and just watch the group stuff. After Sat morning I knew I had made the right decision. I understood what they were doing, but there was something I wasn't 'getting'. And I didn't know what that was. The main purpose of this weekend was to learn to recognize right before your horse was getting scared and to help him at that moment. Before it shows up and there was a wreck or a bigger problem. The people in the group were passing sticks back and forth, working on straightness and keeping the horses on a loose rein while picking up and putting the sticks down. Jaye was working on helping her horse become more comfortable with the other horses. I just kept watching and trusted that I would 'get it' when I was ready to 'get it'.

I realized a couple of days before the clinic that I wasn't even sure of how to introduce new things to Chance. He was afraid of everything, but at the same time he isn't really afraid of much. This doesn't make any sense at all and I felt stuck. How can I help him if I don't understand the problem? And how can I support him when I need support?

What did I learn in the 1st lesson?

1. I am not letting my horse think things through. I make a request and almost immediately back it up with a swing of the lead rope. If I ask and wait he responds with the correct answer most of the time. So, let him learn to think for himself. Be patient and ask as softly as I can.

2. My horse isn't afraid of things. He does shut down when tacking him up but once the saddle is on and he is exposed to things he still isn't afraid. He even had an umbrella over his head. I wish I had the camera ready for that one! Everything was done on the ground today. Tomorrow I will ask Libby to ride him and see if there is a difference in his behavior.

3. No routines with Chance. He will learn to depend on them. Do something different every time we work together. Make sure the feel between us is good. What we do is not nearly as important as how it feels between us to continue building on the relationship.

What did I learn in the 2nd lesson? - Libby rode Chance to get a feel for him to help both of us.

1. He is worried about everything under saddle. He has lost his ability to trust his rider. 'Things' don't worry him, the unknown does. He is always worried about the horrible thing waiting around the corner because he has lost faith in his rider and does not believe his rider can keep him safe. I am sure that I have added to his fear by putting him in situations he wasn't ready for. Although it was done with a false understanding of what he could
handle and may also be the result of prior treatment from others, I am now responsible for helping him through this.

Libby rode him and showed me how to help him when he is looking at something that scares him. This was difficult at first because he was looking in both directions, afraid everywhere. He needs constant support, but not a lot of it. She took him WAY out back around the fields. He went with some reservations, but after feeling confident with Libby's ability to keep him safe he was happy to take her.

Now I get it! It's not something you can really put into words, at least I can't. The support is always going to be different, it is all about feel and the relationship between the horse and rider. I now know how to redirect him when he is looking at something that is making him uncomfortable before it turns into a bad situation. If he can't take his mind of it, move his body. I heard Libby say this over and over again to so many people but it took sitting on my horse and actually doing it before I truly understood it.

I will start doing this on the ground before I get in the saddle. And I won't ride alone for a while. I feel so much better! Fear can be replaced with knowledge and tools. At least I hope I feel that way the next time I ride him. But I do know that Chance and I are really on our way to many happy years together.

Saddled Up and Rode

I wanted to see how Chance would react to the saddle and his new bit before this weekend. We did some free work last night and again this morning. He is doing great. He wants to use his left eye more than the right, I now have some good exercises to work on that. So after the free work today I brought him over to the tack room to saddle him up. As soon as he saw all the stuff his expression change from care free to lets shut down. And thats what he wanted to do. I worked slow, started with brushing and scratching him in his favorite places. Saddle pad on and off, walk around the around the paddock and started again. When it was time to put the saddle on he wanted to walk away. I did more free work with the saddle and he was fine. He never seemed physically uncomfortable at all. I started with the bridle and he tried to avoid the bit. Again I worked slow, scratching his neck, pulling the bit away when he relaxed. Finally he accepted it but with hesitation and he almost bit my fingers. Not intentionally, he just never really opened his mouth very wide. I was feeling very relaxed and decided he looked okay enough to ride. So, I hoped on. I let him choose where he wanted to go (staying inside the ring of course), we did some one rein stops and that was about it. He was trying to drop his head almost to the ground. This was making me a little nervous because of his tendency to crow hop and buck when he has a nutty! So I only let him drop it to a certain point. After about 10 minutes I got off. He stayed relaxed the entire time.

Groundwork

I spent some time with Chance tonight reviewing the groundwork that we know. It amazes me the he was better than the last time we worked. No shutting down, his feet were not stuck at all, and backing him is getting better also. The only difficulty he had was switching eyes. He was pretty hooked on with the left and didn't want to use the right one much at all. We will work on that tomorrow.

Lightning and Thunder and Chairs, Oh My!

Lexie is staying with us while Diane and Derek are in England. She suffers so badly with anxiety. I think she is also a little depressed and now add a very loud thunderstorm. About the only thing that helps is her crate covered with a blanket which is at Diane's. So, I hear the thunder and see the clouds, I have time to run to the barn to bring Chance in AND get back with the crate before the storm hits. Right? Maybe not.
I make it to Chance with his halter, a few rain drops. We leave the paddock, a few more rain drops. I decide to run and ask him to trot with me despite the fact that I am in flip flops. The sky opens up on us and the wind picks up hard. We make it to the stall as the first bolt of lightning hits and as I turn him around the white chair in front of the shed goes flying. We both handled it pretty well. Chance was scared and I think his feet may have gotton stuck, but maybe he just decided that running out into the bad weather just wasn't a good idea. So he looked and snorted, (snorting is good, right?) I remembered to breathe while petting his neck reassuring him that he was fine. He looked at me a couple of times, his eyes softened and he dropped his head to eat some hay. I stayed with him until the storm blew by, about 10 minutes. I told him that I was so proud of how well he is doing. And that in time when we are BOTH brave enough we will be doing everything we ever dreamed of. We are in this together and we are doing very well. Shadow looked at us through the crack in the stall wall and said he will do whatever he can to help us. I love days like this!

Oh, I did make it back with the crate and I'm soaked. A little to late for this storm, but I think we have more on the way. I could use some help with Lexie. I want to be supportive of her without encouraging the anxiety. She takes on so much of Diane's stress. I think her purpose here is to help Diane, but she has such a hard time relaxing. I think I'll try and give her 3 weeks of doggy spa treatment. Lots of walks, playing and maybe a job. I could use help at the barn keeping whatever animal is visiting at night away. Lexie can mark her territory everywhere down there and that would help. Maybe it would be good for her and Chance if we went on some walks together.

Anybody have any ideas?

Well, enough for now, I've got to get back to work.

Breathing and Expectations

First, Chance is standing square. I'm not really sure when it happened, I think it has been a gradual change, but today he was perfectly square. I asked him to square up a couple of times, he did it perfectly both times.

Second, he is such a wonderful teacher. When cleaning his back foot today I could feel him getting fidgety, so I started to rush expecting him to drop it any minute. I also realized I stopped breathing with my rushing. And he didn't let me down. He dropped it almost on cue. Then I remembered that if I want softness I need to be soft. So I asked again and very nicely he gave me his foot. This time I expected him to hold it up while I 'softly' cleaned it and continued to breathe. And he didn't let me down this time either! He held it nicely until I gave it back to him.

Piper Ridge next weekend

I'm taking Chance to Piper Ridge next weekend for a couple of lessons with Libby. I am really looking forward to spending some time with my horse. July was very busy and I haven't done much more than feed him, clean his feet and walk him to the bigger paddock. He seems to be in a very good place right now but who wouldn't be with a month off? I'm also a little nervous about taking him, maybe I'll feel better once I spend some time with him this week.

It's Raining

There are not a lot of things more relaxing than waking up on a summer morning to the sound of rain. And there are not a lot of things more difficult to do than get out of bed on a summer morning to the sound of rain. Even the dogs don't want to do anything today!

More progress

I cleaned Chance's feet today. He was like an old pro. He picked up all 4 feet on his own, was able to hold the fronts up himself and only did a little leaning on me with the backs. He is becoming more balanced and patient while I work on his feet. I think he was proud of himself, and he should be!

Oh Shadow!

Having an older horse can offer some great benefits. They are usually well trained, been there done that, they don't have as much energy as the younger ones and are happy to hang out when life gets too busy for us humans.

Having an older pony like Shadow can be challenging. He is mostly grumpy and set in his ways. He bites, pins his ears back, and wants the world to think he is the toughest guy around. But I love him just the way he is. He is an open book, no baggage (thanks to his previous owner of 25 years) We have a connection that can never be matched. We used to ride everywhere, and he will do anything for me. As crabby as he is I know that he loves me. Maybe because I understand him and would never want him any other way.

When he decided not to take his medicine anymore I honored that. And it really makes no sense to pay the high price for the meds just to throw them out. It doesn't matter what kind of food I put it in, he refuses it. The option was to put it in a syringe everyday and give it to him that way. That would have been a horrible thing to do to him. Some horses could probably handle it, not Shadow. It would kill his spirit, he doesn't deserve that. It has been a few months now and I'm not sure how much longer this great little pony will be with me. His weight has leveled off, he is still too thin. Increasing his grain and adding the oil did cause his insulin to go up. Laminitis started to set in last Wed. He was walking slower and shifting the weight back and forth on his front feet. I gave him some bute and waited. It didn't take long for him to improve. David and I left for a couple of days while I had people checking on him. A gave him 2 more doses of bute and J stopped by to take a look at him. He pulled though it without foundering again. It's been a few days without the bute and he seems fine.

On Sunday morning when I went out to feed there was C and Chance but no Shadow! As I came around the corner I noticed almost all the fencing was down in the ponies paddock. C was pacing back and forth at what was the gate. What an angel, even though there was no fence he stayed in the paddock. Afraid to cross the invisible line. Chance was in his paddock talking to me like he always does, "Where's breakfast?" Then I found him. The little sh-- was standing in the middle of the green lush grass enjoying his breakfast. He looked at me as if to say "What's your problem?" I walked over with the halter and he took off in his cute little trot to the gate at the road. Thank goodness it was shut because I know I would have been on another pony hunt in the woods. I picked some clover and the temptation was too much for him. He happily ate it while I put his halter on and brought him back to the paddock. Everyone ate hay while I did fence repairs. So I waited for the laminitis to start up again, but so far so good. It's been over 24 hours now so I think we escaped another close call. Never a dull moment.

Saying Goodbye

I have never been good at saying goodbye. When I was younger I would go on trips and hated saying goodbye to my mother and end up homesick. Then I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to say goodbye to whoever I was visiting. I get so emotionally attatched to people, my animals and sometimes even to places. I am trying to look at saying goodbye in a different way. Having difficulty with this really means that we have good connections, have made new friends, or just really had a great time. Goodbye isn't always goodbye forever, but it still hurts.

I didn't realize how much the N.Irish kids would effect me. The group that came this year was an awesome group of teens. It's been my 1st year involved in MICP and hopefully not my last. I would love to have the kids back next year and do some of the things we didn't have time for this summer. The house is quiet now, even with the 4 of us here. They moved in like they have always lived here. The fit was perfect. We were challenged by some things but the outcome was always good. I think we all learned from the experience and I hope I have somehow made a positive influence in thier lives.

Farrier Visit

I had the farrier pull Chance's shoes today. He only had front ones but since I'm not riding much and the footing here is not rocky I decided to save some money and pull them. He has
beautiful strong feet, hopefully this will be okay.

Chance has struggled with having his feet done since I've had him. He used to let himself fall
down instead of holding his front feet up. Today was really good! He is only having a tough time with his back right foot now. Just a few tugs and he stood nicely. Progress in so many ways!

Shadow update

Shadow looks good. I think he is starting to put on weight. He looks bright eyed and energetic. I am going to start working him this week. I think it will be good for his mind and help build some muscle.

Breakthroughs

I had a wonderful lesson with Chance yesterday. We concentrated on ground work only and never left the paddock. By the end of the lesson I saw something in him for the 1st time. He was able to go from distracted and a little spooked to soft. He did not shut down at all. He actually has started to test me a little. Normally I wouldn't want to be tested but it was really refreshing to see some new stuff from him. He was using both eyes, I think he really just discovered the muscles that control them. It seemed totally new to him to be able to move them around like he was.

After the lesson I took the girls to the mall to look for dresses. By the time we got home it was dark and raining and Chance was still out in his paddock. I parked the truck left it running because the girls were still in it. As I walked him to his little paddock for the night he was actually snorting at the truck. It was making him uncomfortable and he wanted to 'run' past it. So I helped him run and get away from it. We turned back and did some lead-bys near it until he was able to drop his head and relax. I pet him and we continued our walk to his small paddock. The breakthrough here was that he was able to move his feet. He didn't freeze! He remembered that he has the ability to move when he is afraid and he didn't try to run me over.
He was able to think and look to me for help while moving. Progress!!!

Note about Shadow

I have started adding approx. 2 tbls of rice bran oil to his feed today. Other than the loss of weight he seems fine so I am continuing to watch him. He doesn't look like he has lost anymore in the last couple of days.

Trail Ride on a Different Horse

I went to a friends yesterday and rode her mare. It was really fun and a breath of fresh air to ride a different horse. I think I need to do this more often. I've known this mare for quite a few years now and only ridden her one other time about 6 yrs ago for all of 5 minutes. This time I spent quite a bit of time in the round pen with her first, did some rope halter work and then climbed aboard. My friend rode her new brown horse (he has a total of about 5-6 rides on him). It was a very successful ride and everyone-horses included- were left with a good feeling about the morning. It doesn't get much better than that!

My pony is loosing weight

I have noticed that Shadow has been looking thin. Too thin. He was a little on the thin side once he shed out but he had a belly. He is 29 now and with his health issues I thought he was looking pretty good.

I started giving him new hay last week. I have to go slow with him, so I started with 1 flake a day. Two days later he got 2 flakes a day, etc. The only problem with that is that he is a very picky pony when it comes to his food. CC is getting fatter as Shadow is getting thinner. My guess is that Shadow has stopped eating the older hay and CC is eating it for him. So, I've got Shadow who is starving himself because he only wants the new hay and CC who is porking out because he will eat anything!

I increased Shadow's grain and am only giving him the new hay now. If I don't he is going to starve or colic. The risk in doing this is that his insulin is going to climb to a dangerous level and he could founder again. Not many options to go with here.

Feeding changes:
Started with 1 flake of new hay a day on July 11th.
Gradual increasing of hay until July 14th.
Started with new hay only on July 15th.
Increased rice bran on July 13th.
Increased low starch grain on July 16th.

Up to date

Chance is now living at home. I love having him here! He gives me such a sense of peace. I love the daily care of the horses. If I'm not late in the morning Chance will give me a hug before I get his breakfast. If I'm late he can't be bothered with the mushy stuff, he's hungry! Shadow also loves having him here. Over the winter and in early spring I would put the 2 of them out in the big paddock together. They have a very nice relationship. I honestly can't tell who is the boss between them. It's like they are long lost friends who have been reunited. They are very respectful of each other and really enjoy being together. I haven't seen one pinned ear from either of them. Unfortunately now that the leaves have come out Shadow can't go out because of his diet. But they do spend lots of time next to each other at the fence. I wish I could understand what they talk about!

The hard thing about having him here is working him alone. We have been very busy with ground work, making leaps and bounds. We went to the Greg Eliel clinic and had a wonderful time. I really needed 5 days of uninterrupted horse time. I love the way Greg teaches, he is unbelievably patient, with both of us. Greg needed a horse to ride in the afternoon group for the cattle herding and asked if he could ride Chance. Of course I let him and had so much fun watching what somebody like Greg Eliel could do with my horse. Chance was so proud of himself and loved the job he was given. His face would light up when he saw the cows, what a pro! Coming from out west and seeing his reaction I am guessing he has already done this, but it was nice to see him in action.

We aren't riding very much right now. We rode alot when he first came. Went to the beach, a group trail ride and sometimes 2 trail rides a week at A's. He was pretty shut down. Who knows how much this guy has been through. He has 2 brands and from what Greg said he thinks he was a typical barn sale horse. Probably passed around alot, handled by kids, not ever properly started, kind of "flying by the seat of his pants" and hoping he did the right thing when asked to do something.

Now he is waking up. He is scared of everything. He's like a colt being exposed to everything for the 1st time. I'm glad he is not shut down anymore but I am really going to have to be on my toes and watching carefully for signs of fear in him. When he is afraid he stops, his feet get stuck and he thinks he can't move. Sometimes he even forgets I'm up there and that's when we really get in trouble. What an athletic horse! You wouldn't guess it by watching him in the paddock on a day to day basis. I think he saves it up for when he feels he really needs it. Or if he has a lot of pent up energy. The hard part is controlling my fear when I'm trying to help him with his fear. My fear has been such a consistent issue for so long now. It's getting better, sometimes I can get past it but other times it can be paralyzing. I have a good understanding of how Chance feels!

All in all we are doing great, my guess is that this guy hasn't had very much consistency and probably never the same person in his life for very long. That has changed now and within time
we will be riding everywhere!

A Name

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, I said I wasn't good a this!

After getting my horse and spending time with him I decided that he reminded me of John Wayne. He has this quiet confidence, definitely a western boy, kind, doesn't want trouble and able to get along with everyone. But if pushed I think he would stand his ground. He has a great sense of humor! (laying down in the brook with me on his back will always be a great memory!) He has all of the qualities a Marshall or Sheriff would have and he kind of looks like John Wayne too. We would laugh wondering if John Wayne had come back as my horse!

I called him Duke for a while but it wasn't quite right. P thought of Marshall, I loved it but it just wasn't sticking. A thought he might like the name Charlie, a nice name also, but it wasn't sticking either. So, I did some research on John Wayne. He played a character called Sheriff John T. Chance in the movie Rio Bravo. That was it, "Chance". I took a chance getting a horse I knew nothing about, he is taking a chance learning to trust me, he makes it easy for me to take chances with him, try things that I have been afraid to try. He is my "Perfect Chance". Don't get me wrong, things are not always perfect, but I love this horse and we work well together. I think we are going to have a wonderful partnership, we are learning to trust each other, we gain confidence from each other and he is a great teacher! Neither of us want to rush through anything, we want to have fun and enjoy the learning process. I have a vision of the two of us riding everywhere, we are on a journey and I don't want to miss a step. We are having fun doing all of the beginning stuff. The groundwork, the lead-bys, the walks and the quiet times.
I wouldn't change a thing.

I have finally found MY horse and he has HIS person and now a FOREVER home!

Delivery Day - Aug. 24, 2006

It was hard to leave this horse at Hemphills. He was put out in a paddock with wall to wall horses and a cow. I guess I could have brought him home myself but because he didn't belong to me I didn't want to assume the responsibility of trucking him. I didn't know how he trailered and the ride home is approx. 1-2 hrs depending on traffic. So I left him there knowing that the 2 weeks would be long, but I decided to keep myself busy with other things and tried not to think about his housing situation.

Finally the morning of August 24th I got the call that my horse would be delivered that day, sometime between the hours of noon and 4pm. They had 4 horses to deliver and he was the last.

I had to admit that life was a little easier without another horse. Was I crazy to be getting one so soon after selling Lanie? Yes I was crazy, but the need to fill the hole I was feeling without a horse was way to big. Regardless, he was on his way.

I was going to board him at A's place for a couple of months while I got to know him. I would have friends to ride with and some much needed training. I arrived at A's a little before noon and of course he didn't show up until 4:30. All that waiting gave me plenty of time to wonder what shape he would be in after all day in a trailer. I pictured this wide-eyed, nervous wreck of a horse bolting off the trailer to find himself at yet another place. So I decided that I was going to let the driver unload him and put him in the paddock. I would stand close by watching and hold the gates open.

As I sat there reading a book I finally heard the trailer coming up the road. It was a huge 30' stock trailer. The driver backed all the way up the long driveway. Once I thought he was going to fall off the road into the ditch, but he didn't. He got out of the truck, I paid him the trucking fee and signed the paper, then he opened the trailer. There was #131 the sorrel QH standing tied to the trailer. Yep, it was the right horse, 2 front socks and a white spot on his withers shaped like Australia. The driver untied him, they walked into the paddock where I had water and a couple of flakes of hay waiting. The horse looked around and very slowly and quietly went to the hay and started eating. So much for the wide-eyed nervous wreck of a horse I was picturing. I'm really glad I was wrong.

The driver left and I stood with the horse checking him out for any bruises. He was just a little thin compared to some of the other horses at Hemphills, his mane and forelock where very thin and scraggly. His tail was absolutely beautiful. Thick with many colors in it. He ate and I sat nearby watching him. The only thing that made me nervous was the way he was standing. With both front legs way out in front of him and both back legs way out in back. I called the vet and she said it was probably from the long drive, watch him for signs of colic. He ended up being just fine. 7 1/2 hrs tied to the inside of a trailer would have stressed me out too.

Well, he was finally here. I took the collar off his neck that had #131 written on it and gave him a new halter. Now he needed a name. Nothing was coming to me, naming him was going to take a while.

My First Post - Finding Chance

After reading my friends blogs I have decided I might like to try this. I'm not sure if I'm disciplined enough to keep up with it or continue but I think it might be fun. And helpful
with my horses.

I have named this "My Journey with Chance" because thats what I have decided I am on...

a journey with my new horse.

I have a lot of catching up to do with my blogging because I am going to start at the beginning with Chance. When I go back and read this it will just make more sense to me this way.

I started looking for a horse early last summer with no luck. I'm not sure how many horses I
went to see, e-mailed and called about. There are hundreds out there for sale, but for one reason or another none of those horses worked out. Then I decided I was going to take a
ride to Hemphill's and look. I have no idea why I thought looking for a horse at a horse dealer and knowing nothing about him was going to be better than buying one from an actual person.

It was a scary thought but the option to lease for a few months before writing the check made the idea sound pretty good.

So off we went, myself and a my good friend A. Hemphill's is a little overwhelming to say the least. So many horses, where to start? We made a list, gelding, approx 15h, back from summer camp and the camp had to want the horse back, and he had to be visibly healthy. I'm not sure how many horses I looked at but the only one that had everything on my list was #131, the sorrel QH. He happened to be the 1st horse I looked at. The deciding factor was when my daughter rode him. She is a teenager but hasn't ridden for a few years and I was a little nervous about letting her ride a complete unknown. When she got on his back, he dropped his head and looked me straight in the eye, it was as if he was telling me, "Don't worry, I will take care of her." My friend told me he had the same look when I rode him. The other part to this is when I watched somebody else ride him. He had a completely different look in his eyes, he did not want this person on his back. He did all that was asked of him, but seemed relieved when the man got off.

Well, that was it. I signed the lease and #131 the sorrell QH would be delivered to me within 2 weeks. They gave me a copy of his negative coggins, told me he had a rabies shot and they thought he might be around 6 years old. He was delivered to them in June from a place in Minnesota. They sent him to a summer camp for 2 months and now he was back. That was all the information they had on him.

It's funny, I thought when I found "my horse" I might fall instantly in love, see fireworks or have butterflies. I don't know why I thought that, but I did. But no, there where no fireworks, no butterflies, just a nice quiet calmness. It was strange bringing a horse home that I had only spent about 30 minutes with, I would have until Dec. 1st to decide if I wanted to buy him.