The Horse Show

I decided on a whim to take Chance to a horse show a week after the clinic. I wanted to enter a trails class (mostly for fun) to see how we were doing. Riding at home has been fun and easy, so I know we have made lots of progress.

I could tell right away that the whole thing was overwhelming for Chance. The funny thing about him is that he usually looks fine, very calm. But I could feel him. His insides were not okay. He has learned to stuff it and get through it. After tacking him up I took him for a walk around the grounds to take it all in, then I got on. It felt like the old us. Not the pair that left the clinic. He didn't feel okay and I was trying with all I had to keep it together for both of us. We started walking around, he felt like a rusty tin man. His legs didn't want to move. He couldn't walk in a straight line.

I had to come up with a plan, and the plan was probably going to change from minute to minute. I started to feel defeated. Like what is wrong with me? My horse looks fine, but he isn't! Why am I scared to death??? Because he doesn't feel right! So the plan at first was going to be just support Chance and maybe I would start feeling better. That worked a little. Then I decided I would get on and off Chance. That gave me something to do. He needed a job but his legs wouldn't move. He was taking short choppy steps, all over the place. Lots of one rein stops, just keep his mind with me and try my best to get to the feet. I really wanted to put a couple of barrels together and start the excercise we did at the clinic. We have done it at home and it works for both of us. This wasn't the place for that, but I really needed a way to get to my horse. I new right away I wasn't going to ride in the trails class, but ended up making the final decision at the last minute. The decision came when Chance saw the driving carts. I don't think he had ever seen one of those things! What I had of his mind was leaving fast when he saw them. I felt his back hump up under my seat. That was him telling me that he was finished. I didn't want to jump off with him feeling like that and I wanted to see if I could still communicate to him, and if he was able to respond. I asked for one more one rein stop and then a soft feel. I felt his entire body relax! The big humpy back was gone and I could feel a softer more relaxed horse under me. And then I got off.

Was getting off a mistake? Should I have pushed him through it? Absolutely not! For some stupid reason I feel like I need to defend myself and explain. I'm not sure why because nobody else can possibly know what Chance and I felt like at that moment. He probably looked okay, but he wasn't. I know this horse and we have worked way too hard to blow it on a trails class at a horse show. Maybe we are taking a long time to get to the place I want to be with Chance. But it's the journey that is so important for us. I have no doubt that somebody with more experience could get through all of this stuff with Chance so much faster than I can. But I think that is what makes us perfect for each other. We both need to go slow. We both have lots of confidence to gain. But we balance each other out, where he is weak, I am stronger and vice-versa. I had the perfect little riding pony, I love Shadow and loved all the fun we had. We could go anywhere together, he spoiled me rotten. But I didn't learn anything with him. I didn't learn how to stay safe or how to support my horse. He didn't need it.

So I guess if I look like I am struggling, yes I am. But I am also loving every minute of it! Chance is teaching me so much and I know I am helping him. If I had to do this all over again I wouldn't change a thing. There will be a day when I can hop on Chance and take off into the woods for a trail ride without giving it a second thought. And when that day comes I am going to appreciate it more than anything in the world! But for now I will appreciate the lessons he is teaching me and the progress we are making, we are exactly where we are supposed to be, we are doing exactly what we should be doing.

When I went to Hemphill's to find a horse I told myself that if I wasn't able to do everything I wanted with the horse I picked he was going back. So here I am today with Chance, 1 & 1/2 years later and I can't even ride him at a show. But I wouldn't bring him back or give him up for a million dollars. The bond this horse and I share, and the lessons I am learning are priceless.