Day 1 - helping Chance with the Saddle

Things have gotton pretty busy in the last couple of weeks so I haven't done very much horsey stuff. Today I was cleaning up the old hay left from the winter and decided to take the saddle and pad out for Chance to look at. I put it on a rubbermade tote (my saddle rack was not here) next to Chance while he ate some hay. At first he ignored the saddle and ate. After about 20 min he walked around it, sniffed it, then went back to the hay. About 10 min later he did it again this time picked up the saddle pad dropped it on the ground and stomped on it with his front foot, then went back to the hay. After another 10 min he walked around the saddle again and sniffed it. I was REALLY glad he didn't stomp on it! It is just a saddle, but brand new. When he went back to the hay and seemed to loose interest in both the saddle and pad I put them away. That was all for day 1.

Oh Shadow...

I found Shadow in the round bale feeder again this morning. (Just his front legs) The first time I found him in there he had only his front legs in so I tried helping him back out. That was only stressing him out so as I stood back trying to figure out what I was going to do he took care of the problem. He took a couple of steps forward so that now he was completely in, turned around and walked out. Now I know this wasn't the 1st time because he was magically getting into Chances paddock every now and then. I just wasn't sure how. Now I know.
So... here we were again with Shadow half way into the feeder. I decided to leave him alone and let him get out on his own again. He put the rest of his body inside the feeder and as he started to step out his right front hoof got caught. Before I could get to him he pushed it back and it was free. So now he is half way out. The rear left leg came out and as he was stepping out with the right rear his pastern got caught. I am SO glad he is not a reactive pony. He did start to panic at first and started pulling his leg hard. I thought I was going to watch my pony break his leg! But I stayed calm, told him to stop and pet him. He stopped and started to think. Just as I went to the leg to help him, he pushed it back and it came free. He stepped out of the feeder limping for a couple of steps and then was fine. He was even better when breakfast came.
Now I have to decide what to do about this feeder. It is still frozen in the ground so I can't move it yet. I guess I'll have to put the ponies in their stalls at night and keep them in the other paddock during the day so they can't get near it for now.

I have lots to say about Chance, but not enough time to get it all in. We did go to the clinic and I keep discovering new things about both of us. I have taken notes and will sit down later this week to right them all down. Things are good. The anxiety I have been feeling about riding him has been justified. It is coming from him and I really feel it. Just the sight of the tack makes him nervous. So I am breaking everything down for him. (and me) I won't push us through anything anymore. We are working with just the saddle pad right now. Last week he would walk away when I brought it out, this week he is walking to me and lining himself up so I can put it on him. I am using lots and lots of treats and taking it very slow to give him a whole new association with the tack. He can get pretty pushy and piggish with the treats so I have to keep that in mind when I am working with him, but so far so good! Maybe next week we will be ready to look at the saddle.

A wonderful 5 minutes!

I rode my pony Shadow today for the 1st time in 2 years. He looks so good,his weight is good, his eyes are bright and lately he walks over to me with a "Lets go do something fun" look. So today I took him out of the paddock with the thought of doing some ground work so I could brush up on somethings. He is wonderful to work with, very light, willing and he really has no issues so I can work on me without fear or emotions getting in the way. When we were done he wasn't ready to go back in the paddock, I was going to take him for a walk but his CC (his brother) was intently
looking for a place to go through the fence. That's when I decided to hop on. I grabbed my helmet, stood on a bucket and got on bareback. After about a minute of him getting adjusted to me on his back he walked to the gate and really wanted to go someplace. He isn't physically ready for that and I didn't want CC to go through the fence so we didn't go anywhere. I stayed on for about 5 minutes and it was great! He had that old look in his eyes, a spring in his step and was happy. And I haven't stopped smiling all afternoon!

Reality Check

After last nights post I had another realization. Not only do I push my horse through scary stuff, I do the same to myself. I have done it for as long as I can remember, when something is too hard for me to deal with I will 1st-try to ignore it, when that doesn't work I will down play it (try to make it less important than it is) and when that doesn't work I will push through it and hope I make it on the other side in one piece. The scary issue hasn't really gone away, I've just avoided dealing with it. My horse won't let me do that anymore. You can't ignore a 1000lb animal that is scared and needs to get away. He is going to take care of himself if I don't. If I had slowed down the other day and waited until we both felt okay about walking to the barn I would have changed everything for the better. I think the big lesson here for me is that you can face what is scary, possibly become more confident, and there is a good chance you can make it out on the other side feeling pretty good. It amazes me that I have been doing this for so long and I didn't see it. Now that I have finally figured it out can I fix it? I'm going to do my best to try.

I don't think I would have ever figured this out without my horse. They are truly mirror images and if we would take the time to listen to them we would all be much better off. I talked to a good friend recently about self worth and why we humans don't always feel we deserve good things. I can't answer that. I know that I have been working on becoming a better listener, a better horsewoman and just all around working on me because of the love I feel for this horse. He tries so hard for me and has come so far in the short time I have had him. I have an obligation to do that for him. But I don't do it because of the obligation, I do it because I want him to be happy, confident and to have a good life. And through all this hard personal work for him he is giving me more than I could have ever dreamed of. I am becoming more confident, happy and I hope a better person. I think I am getting the better part of this deal.

Horses are amazing teachers.

I learned a Good Lesson

I learned a lesson yesterday-slow down, be more aware of my surroundings, and don't try to rush through the scary place hoping to get to the other side in one piece.

When walking Chance from the driveway to the barn, (which requires walking on the main road and is a hot spot for me) Chance became very aware of something that was making him nervous. I looked around and saw nothing. This is when I get myself in trouble, my horse starts to show signs of being afraid, I don't see the problem and force him through it. Now yesterday I did look around and when I couldn't see the problem I thought that getting to the barn as quickly as possible was the answer to his fear. And hopefully we would get there without an explosion. I was lucky because we did get there in one piece. As we were turning into the barn driveway he ran in front of me very quickly and spun around and I heard a voice say "Hi Laura." It was a neighbor out jogging in a very bright shirt. I had no idea she was there, but Chance did. And as far as he was concerned she was a very bright mountain lion getting ready to eat us. Now if I had listened to my horse and taken a couple of minutes to figure out what was bothering him this whole thing would have been avoided. Nothing bad happened but in Chance's mind this brightly colored mountain lion was chasing us and getting ready for the kill and I set us up for it. If I had slowed down and checked things out I would have seen her too and we would have been behind her. I did look around, but quickly. When I didn't see anything my answer was to just get through it. Well, Chance I'm sorry and I promise to slow down and listen to you. I want better than to just get through it. I want him to trust me. I think I finally know how to fix that. With a better awareness of my surroundings, my horse and just plain slowing down.

We went for a ride

I took Chance for a little ride around the neighborhood today. Just for the fun of it. Also to see how he did in the front of the trailer. He usually rides in the back but because he is the only horse going and the ride is so long, I think he should be in front to keep the weight closer to the truck. He was a little confused and thought he should stay in the back of the trailer. He would walk to the front and turn around, then stop at the back waiting for the door to shut. After 3 times I had to re-think this. The 4th time he walked in, turned around again and stopped at the door. So I backed him to the front and asked him to stand. I then closed the divider and took off the lead line. Then we went for a little ride. He never really relaxed or ate any of the hay but he did poop and I thought that was a good sign. It was a short ride, and very uneventful. Just perfect. Maybe I'll put a saddle on him tomorrow.