I had a few minutes to sit and watch a little TV before picking up Marissa after school. I decided to watch Oprah. Will Smith was on today, they were talking about how it felt and what it meant to them to see Obama win the election and experience history being made. Will Smith and his family video-taped the entire day, each member had a video camera, including his children. They voted together and as the results were coming in he sat in a chair with his 3 children around him. Obama was announced the winner and as he gave is acceptance speech Will Smith cried. He said he was brought up with the belief that he could do anything. His parents taught him that he was as good as anyone else, all he had to do was believe it and go do it. And he has. But...when it came to this country as hard as he tried, he wasn't really sure that an African American would actually become president. He believed it...but not really. And when it happened he said there cannot be anymore excuses, you have to believe.
In the world this is all much bigger than me and my horse. Really no comparison. But....the last few days I have spent reflecting on my relationship with Chance. Actually I just kind of put it out there, let it go, it was too heavy. I've stopped thinking so much and decided to watch him, enjoy his company and feel. What came to me as I was watching Oprah was that as badly as I want to move past this wall we keep coming to, that's all I have done. Wanted. I can picture what I want in my mind, but I don't think I have really BELIEVED it. I haven't believed in him. Or in me. I have thought of us as a person and a horse who have had some really scary things happen. As hard as we try to get past them we just don't trust enough to believe. Trust is hard for me and for Chance. We have had scary things happen to us, but if I don't believe that we will get through this or in him how is he going to believe in me? Thank you Will Smith. You never know where these messages will come from. wow. I didn't know that I didn't really believe, but I think it's time for a new outlook.
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